50. Mark Ronson & The Business Intl. f Q-Tip & MNDR - “Bang Bang Bang”
No grumbling about Zutons covers this year. Instead it was all synths, a magic “MNDR button” and Q-Tip’s relaxed hopscotch flow. Also, was there an unspoken agreement this year that 60% of all music videos had to have a “Japanese talk show” or “80s home movie/cable access” motif? Or maybe it was a spoken agreement that was arranged through old Usenet accounts. That seems like a sort of hip thing to do, right?
49. 50 Cent - “They Burned Me”
I still say “I Get Money” was criminally slept on.
48. Breakbot f Irfane - “Baby I’m Yours”
I’m not sure if Irfane is incapable or just unwilling to pronounce the “d” in “command” or “demand”, but my goodness that’s a brilliant vocal maneuver. Why tell someone that “your wish is my command” when you could say “your wish is my cuhmayuh”? The last syllable is just this beautiful combination of saying “man” like an East LA stereotype and at the same time making the “wah” noise of a fussy baby. Sample this immediately, rappers in need of an infectious hook.
47. Free Energy - “Hope Child”
If “Hope Child” were a mid-level hit on Top 40 radio, you can be certain that stock in high-fives would be through the roof. (Important Wall Street Warning: In this blurb I’m referring to the gesture, not the sex glove company.)
46. Mini Viva - “One Touch”
What Mini Viva have here is an absolute motherfucking steamroller of swaggering fun. All the praise heaped on “Hard In Da Paint” for being menacing and entertaining at the same time would fit more appropriately here. (In part because “Hard in Da Paint” is kinda shit.) Here’s to seeing what Frankee and Britt do in their post Viva adventures next year.
45. The Vaccines - “Wreckin’ Bar (Ra Ra Ra)”
In 2014, we might look back on this as the 2010s answer to “Highly Evolved”. Best not think about that now.
44. Kings Of Leon - “Radioactive”
I don’t really understand this mythology about Kings Of Leon that seems to suggest that because they made “Holy Roller Novocaine” it would be unthinkable that this gang of “good ol’ boys” wouldn’t be in the market to make stadium rock. If anything this seems like the sort of inevitable path they would take. Each album’s gotten progressively bigger and more 70s AOR Time Life infomercial friendly. I’ve been increasingly blase on their post-debut output, but “Radioactive” is strangely fantastic in a “U2 have been on hiatus from doing this sort of thing” sort of way.
43. Magic Kids - “Hey Boy”
If we’re going to critically evaluate it, giving kids magic powers would be a ridiculous idea. They would probably waste their new abilities on candy, sleepovers and world peace.
42. Hot Chip - “I Feel Better”
Probably overrating this a bit because of the video. This is what researchers refer to as “The OK Go Effect”. (Which is a shame really because OK Go have some fantastic singles, a few of which have been let down by wonky videos.)
41. Happy Birthday - “Girls FM”
At the moment I think I like this better than Steely Dan’s “FM (No Static At All)”. I’m not sure if that assessment would look good on a promo sticker, but Sub Pop probably isn’t all that interested in pulling from Tumblr accounts filled grammatical errors anyway.
It’s a bit unclear whether or not Kells put the “I am just a snowman looking for a snowgirl” part in the card/letter he sent out. I’d guess that the card/letter he’s talking about is just an artistic device, but then R. Kelly mentions putting on his “music cape” and I am certain that he literally has a music cape. It’s probably a good idea for me to have an Egg Nog and a think about it.
In August, Sugar Ray made the difficult announcement that DJ Homicide had left the group. It’s this sort of revelation that can make a year seem like a total loss. Blessedly, there were other good things happening in music in 2010. Here’s a crudely put-together list of the year’s best tracks.
60. Shad - “Yaa I Get It”
I’m sorta bummed out that the accompanying video isn’t in the vein of “The Old Prince Still Lives At Home”, but believe you me, you won’t hear a better Otis Nixon reference this year. (Except maybe if there’s one in the new Jonathan Franzen. I should probably Wikipedia Freedom to see if it’s about the Atlanta Braves.)
59. Rah Rah - “Arrows”
Regina rabblerousers get all rabblerousery on this punchy offering from Breaking Hearts. (Local Music Note: Is it fair to call Breaking Hearts Rah Rah’s Neon Bible? Answers on a postcard, be sure to show your work.)
58. Via Audio - “Babies”
Via Audio would like to get you pregnant. Or work on an adoption program with you. Sensual rumpshaking is encouraged in both plans.
57. Lena Meyer-Landrut - “Satellite”
1) For any other track to have won at Eurovision would have been complete madness.
2) Who knew that “light blue” was the colour of enticing underpants. I don’t really have an order of sexy undergarment colours, but light blue (which I imagine to be more of a powder or Carolina blue) isn’t in my Top 5. Expect a companion It’s Dan MacRae Top 60 Underpants Colours list in the coming weeks.
56. The Go! Team - “T.O.R.N.A.D.O.”
I imagine this is what it’d feel like to get the shit beat out of you by a rainbow. (Not to be confused with what it’d be like to get beaten up by Rainbow Brite, which is something that you might want to consult Murky Dismal about.)
55. The Diplomats - “Salute”
Earlier this year I declared that this song had me so hyped up that I could flip a tank. This feeling has not changed. I don’t even watch True Blood and I shout out that “Sookie” line every time like a m’fucker.
54. Fight Like Apes - “Hoo Ha Henry”
Positively ballstamping. Is that an adjective? I probably should consult someone on that.
53. My Chemical Romance - “Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)”
"We’re here, we’re being silly, we got My Chemical Romance, I’m Gerard Way and I like to have a good time and on Saturday mornings I used to like to get a big, fat bowl of cereal and watch cartoons, motherfucker, and if you can’t relate to this song you’re taking this shit too serious. It’s pop music, man, it’s fuckin’ fun." - The intro to Z-Trip’s "Breakfast Club", modified slightly to be about the lead glucose rush from Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys. I think it works.
52. DJ Pauly D - “Beat Dat Beat (It’s Time To)”
As far as novelty tracks go, this is an absolute miracle. Plus, Pauly D’s midtrack sermonizing/introspection flights of fancy sometimes veer into bizarro James Murphy braindamaged on Grey Goose territory.