August 2012
32 posts
July 2012
14 posts
My (Dracula) City Was Gone
I like to play fantasy football. Y’know, cause my life is on fire. I like the hubris of thinking I’m a football talent evaluation guru, complete with all the perks that come with it (fat people friendly clothes, strangers throwing garbage at you in the street, 10% off on General Manager Fun Daze Tuesday at Target). I went to check on the status of my league this morning and was...
Gah. Gah! GAH!
I came across an old Los Angeles Times article today and it turned my brain to dust. What was it about? An America’s Funniest Home Videos tape screener named “Smitty”, of course.
Sample Bit:
Child in truck: A woman puts a girl of about 2 in the driver’s seat of a pickup whose motor is running. Then, after someone has apparently slipped the truck into drive, it moves...
9 People/Things I Would Like To Star In A Buddy...
1. Johnny Cactus (a cactus with a cowboy hat and a boombox)
2. Any scientist holding a gun
3. Dr. James Naismith and Neil Armstong fused together into one man
4. A cyborg THAT HAS SOME MANNERS THIS TIME
5. Pop legend Steven Page
6. Regionally Famous Deborah Grey impersonator Barb Neubrowski
7. Mountain Dew Red Alert (the drink or the alternative porn star of the same name)
8. Any...
You Can Still Rock In America: 9 Overlooked...
Fifty. That’s how many states there are in the United States of America. Unless you count STATE OF EMERGENCY HARHARHARHARHARHAR!!! Get it? State of Emergency isn’t a state. It’s a commonwealth! Sigh. We have a lot of laughs on Tumblr.
With so many states in the union, some states get lost in the shuffle. Sure, it’s easy to remember places like Texas or New York or...
