I tell jokes and write things because I am bad at sports.
Match 1: Blonde Confidence (accompanied by Screaming Widow) vs. Parkour Pal
America Belt Contest
Winner: Blonde Confidence (retains belt powers)
Post Match Note: Long Island Tan Man attacked Blonde Confidence After The Match
Match 2: Strong Lady vs. Generic Lady
Sparkle Belt Contest with other ladies of various distinctiveness positioned around the wrestlesquare.
Winner: Strong Lady
Backstage: Straight Edge Tape Hands disagrees with Harvard Lawyer.
World’s Most Famous Samoan addresses crowd, sings popular song about famous location.
Match 3: British Briton, American Former Mask Having Guy, Mexican Former Mask Having Guy, Blonde Confidence & Patriotic Singlet vs. Former Jamaican, Rage Snake, Mexican Current Mask Having Guy, Welsh Muscles & Irish Fight Enthusiast.
Ten Men Touch Friend To Play Match
Winner: British Briton & American Former Mask Having Guy (last wrestlebuddies remaining)
Backstage: Lady Twins asked to leave so Quasi Boss can talk to Mexico Money Man.
Match 4: Large Black Guy vs. Large White Guy
Gold Belt With Less Red On It Contest
Winner: Large Black Guy by unfairness. (retains belt powers)
Post Match Note: Large White Guy used unfairness after the match for revenge purposes.
Backstage: Yell Vest and Reality Show Mike discuss athletic plans.
Match 5: Mexico Money Man (with Spanish Announcement Doer) vs. Straight Edge Tape Hands (with former English Announcement Doer)
Gold Belt With More Red On It Contest
Winner: Straight Edge Tape Hands (now has belt powers)
Match 6: World’s Most Famous Samoan & Rapping Marine vs. Yell Vest & Reality Show Mike
Winner: World’s Most Famous Samoan & Rapping Marine
Post Match Note: World’s Most Famous Samoan and Rapping Marine stand on wrestletethers. World’s Most Famous Samoan wrestlemoves Rapping Marine. World’s Most Famous Samoan gloats.
Fin.
