An Interview With The Cyclist On The Sealtest 2% Milk Carton Me: Hello Cyclist, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Cyclist: Likewise. Me: Let’s get right to it, tell me about your bicycle. Cyclist: Well, it’s my most prized position. You rarely see ol’ Cyclist without his beloved bicycle. That’s why I have this sticker on my bike. (/shows sticker) Me: It says: “My Other Bicycle Is Me Talking About How Much I Love This Bicycle”. Cyclist: That’s right. Me: Bit confusing. Cyclist: No it’s not. Me: Let’s keep talking about the bicycle. How long have you been riding bikes for? Cyclist: Let’s see, I’m twenty-eight and I’ve been riding since I was six, so twenty-one years. Me: Wouldn’t it be twenty-two years? Cyclist: Sorry? Me: Well, six plus twenty-one adds up to twenty-seven and not twenty-eight. I think you might be missing a year. Cyclist: I should explain, there was a year as a child where I was without my bike. Me: How come? Cyclist: My estranged father sold it for PCP. Me: Oh my God, that’s terrible. Cyclist: It’s okay, I sold my bed to get a new one. Me: I’m glad you got back to your beloved world of bicycles. Cyclist: That’s why I’m posing with my bike in the photo. It’s to show Daddy that I’m a winner now. When you’re drinking Sealtest 2% Milk, you’re drinking the milk of someone that is a big boy now and is allowed to have a bike-bike. You hear that Daddy? I’m a big boy! I’m ready to take off my training wheels of hurt and we can be a family again. Let all the Sealtest drinkers taste a dairy product that is pasteurized by my tears and sleepless nights! I’m ready for you to come back Daddy! Let the world pour my longing all over their Special K! Me: So that’s why 2% tastes so much better. Fantastic! Milk, you’ve been journalismed.

An Interview With The Cyclist On The Sealtest 2% Milk Carton

Me: Hello Cyclist, it’s a pleasure to meet you.

Cyclist: Likewise.

Me: Let’s get right to it, tell me about your bicycle.

Cyclist: Well, it’s my most prized position. You rarely see ol’ Cyclist without his beloved bicycle. That’s why I have this sticker on my bike.

(/shows sticker)

Me: It says: “My Other Bicycle Is Me Talking About How Much I Love This Bicycle”.

Cyclist: That’s right.

Me: Bit confusing.

Cyclist: No it’s not.

Me: Let’s keep talking about the bicycle. How long have you been riding bikes for?

Cyclist: Let’s see, I’m twenty-eight and I’ve been riding since I was six, so twenty-one years.

Me: Wouldn’t it be twenty-two years?

Cyclist: Sorry?

Me: Well, six plus twenty-one adds up to twenty-seven and not twenty-eight. I think you might be missing a year.

Cyclist: I should explain, there was a year as a child where I was without my bike.

Me: How come?

Cyclist: My estranged father sold it for PCP.

Me: Oh my God, that’s terrible.

Cyclist: It’s okay, I sold my bed to get a new one.

Me: I’m glad you got back to your beloved world of bicycles.

Cyclist: That’s why I’m posing with my bike in the photo. It’s to show Daddy that I’m a winner now. When you’re drinking Sealtest 2% Milk, you’re drinking the milk of someone that is a big boy now and is allowed to have a bike-bike. You hear that Daddy? I’m a big boy! I’m ready to take off my training wheels of hurt and we can be a family again. Let all the Sealtest drinkers taste a dairy product that is pasteurized by my tears and sleepless nights! I’m ready for you to come back Daddy! Let the world pour my longing all over their Special K!

Me: So that’s why 2% tastes so much better. Fantastic! Milk, you’ve been journalismed.

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