It's Dan MacRae

On social media (the wave of the future today!), I made a pissy comment about my displeasure with the quality of 7-Eleven’s Slurpees in Toronto. To be specific, I said:

The 7-Eleven Twitter pigeon (or whatever their Twitter guardian is) replied to my message and we engaged in a friendly back and forth. I was encouraged to send an email to 7-Eleven about my concerns. Here is the email I have written and sent to 7-Eleven. I have not altered this email in anyway. It is a copy and paste of what I wrote.

Hi Electronic Mail Wing Of Slurpee.ca,

I made a comment on Twitter about the poor quality of Slurpees in Toronto and the 7-Eleven SpokesTwitter recommended I contact you. I am taking the SpokesTwitter up on its offer.

I’ve had multiple Slurpees from multiple 7-Eleven locations in Toronto and they’ve all tasted terrible. It’s like both the sweetness and soul of the beverage was tortured and extracted, leaving me with an icy cup of despair. I’ve had Slurpees in Winnipeg, Brandon, Dauphin, Regina, Saskatoon, Rosetown, Moose Jaw, Swift Current, Medicine Hat, Lethbridge, Calgary, Edmonton and Burnaby and they’ve all tasted relatively the same. By that I mean, they tasted good. I’ve purchased $20 in Slurpees in Toronto at multiple stores and I’ve thrown them all out minutes after leaving the store. By that I mean, those Slurpees did not taste good. Is there a difference in the composition of Slurpees in Ontario? Did I just go to the wrong stores at the wrong times? Am I being punished for something I did in a previous life? Please let me know what I’ve done wrong.

I’ve had a wonderful romance with Slurpee for years. That’s why I would never want to run off with a hussy like Icee or Froster. Please help repair this relationship and let me know what I need to do as a partner to get back to the world of delicious Slurpees and escape this Hell of polar vomit.

Real Talk: Each Slurpee tasted like Pegasus crib death. It was super gross.

Thanks,

Dan MacRae

I hope to have an update on my progress in the future.

Update: I got off the phone with the National Category Manager of 7-Eleven. It seems like there’s going to be service checks, follow-ups and the like. It’s progress, but I must remain vigilant. Like an overcaffeinated justice lynx.